Sleep has rarely been an illusive thing for me. I've always been a good sleeper. Now, not so much. I lie awake in bed thinking about everything. Trying not to go to the 'bad' place. If I take an Ambien, sleep is a way of denying what I am feeling. I still question whether this has all really sunk in or if I'm going through the motions for everyone else. I'm really not sure. I'm afraid that the true reality of it will hit me like a bigger ton of bricks than at that doctor's appointment.
I've never had to do this before. I don't know how to act, or what to feel, or how to deal with it. I'm doing the best that I know how. I would have thought that would give me enough peace to sleep. But not always.
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Just Travelling Down Abby's Road
My final journey in this life is just beginning. I've shared a previous journey a couple of years ago and found blogging to be therapeutic and a way to share with others. Some may find this macabre and others may find it helpful in their own dealings. We are all on a final journey to somewhere.
Link to Mike and Jane's Vacation Photos
Abby's Road
Just Travelling Down Abby's Road
Blog Archive
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2008
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March
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- Rashes and Wedding Shopping
- Bridezilla
- Round 1 Day 8
- Round 2
- Renaming the Blog
- Normal Stuff
- Michael
- Sleep
- 3 Days Later
- First Chemo Treatment
- Preparing for C Day
- Developing a Sick Sense of Humor
- The Wedding Planners
- Meltdown
- Notification
- Phone Calls
- Is Ignorance Truly Bliss?
- Communication
- The Start of the Journey
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March
(19)
About Me
- JR
- I am an average person with a job, a significant other, dogs, cats, a house I love, and wonderful family and friends. I am involved in dog-related activities and since meeting Michael have been working on my pool game.
1 comment:
Since becoming a mature woman (OK, middle-aged, menopausal, whatever...), I've gotten into the habit of fighting sleep because I don't want to "waste" time. When I lie down, I remember that my dad used to tell us that he didn't sleep much because he was a responsible person who stayed up and "thought about solutions to problems" while the rest of us lazy louts just snored our heads off. Made me feel guilty about sleeping! But what I've observed is that the "deep thinking" I do when I should be resting and recharging is NOT healthy or productive...rather it's more like an endless loop re-run of the original problem or concern. Like the sewing machine needle that gets all balled up with thread...you can have the control pedal floored, but the needle just keeps jumping up and down in one spot and makes a bigger hole in the cloth, but without advancing the fabric. Take that sleep aid if you need it. Be like Scarlett O'Hara...get your sleep and think about "stuff" tomorrow. When you wake up refreshed and on top of your day, all the "stuff" probably won't matter any more.
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