Why Me?

I had a 'Why Me' meltdown last night. Poor Michael. We had been sleeping apart so that I wouldn't make him sick when I had the cold. Good planning on my part, as I knew I wouldn't be able to take care of him. Sleeping apart can put a huge distance in your relationship. He came back to the master room last night. I missed having him there to talk to before I go to sleep. I didn't miss the snoring, but have good ear plugs. We started talking and I started my meltdown. Despite what he thinks, it had nothing to do with him, it was just about me.

I think that since we got good news on the scan, now we know what the future (however long that is) looks like. I think it's pretty scary. I've had fevers the past two nights. I've felt like crap. If I feel this bad after day one, how am I going to feel after day 15? When am I going to go back to work? When will I feel well enough to pull weeds, cut down treess, and the other things that need to get done?

I haven't self-indulged much since this all began. I think I'm entitled. Of course the obvious answer is 'Why not me?'