No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

I did a good thing today. Last week the cancer center called me on the recommendation of my Dr. They needed a pancreatic cancer patient to do a very controlled CT scan to submit in pursuit of a prestigious accreditation. I said, sure what's a little barium and IV iodine contrast between friends?

The radiology tech met us at chemo last week to set up a time, and give me the barium and instructions. Then she thanked me so profusely, it was almost embarassing. I'd just done one a few weeks ago, I knew it wasn't that big of a deal.

So, this morning, I ate nothing, drank my first half of barium at 8am, then the second at 9am. My appointment was at 10am. As I'm walking in the door I see her waving wildly at me from inside. As I go in, I see she has a cup in her hand. I've never been met at the door by someone with a drink in their hand for me before. Oh, no, "not more barium", I said. She looked at me sympathetically. Since it had been an hour since my last barium fix, she wanted to make sure I was properly hyped up for the scan.

Then amidst more thank yous, I slowly guzzled my drink and asked her questions. I asked if they were having problems getting volunteers. She looked at me like I was nuts (not really), but asked how many people want to go through this if they don't have to? I was properly chastised. They apparently had already gotten the brain they needed, and I had the final pancreas.

After completing my barium cocktail, she then asked me to drink close to a pint of water (which was very cold). I finished that, put on the gown, and got on the table. Thankfully, she brought me a warm blanket. Then the IV went into the arm with no problem. I was ready to go.

After a couple of hold-your-breath scans without the contrast, they injected the iodine. It makes you warm all over and sometimes makes you think you've peed your pants. Not fun the first time it's done AND they forget to tell you that part.

A couple more hold-your-breath scans, and I was becoming nauseated. She asked me how I was doing and I told her. She ran to get a barf bucket and came to help me up. I heaved a few times and finally brought a little something up. She got me cold towels for my forehead. After lying there for a few minutes I felt better.

While I was getting dressed the tech told me the accreditation coordinator called and asked how it went. Apparently this was a REALLY big deal for them. She told me she confessed that she made me throw up. I said, "I must really like you, because I won't throw up for just anyone".

In honor of my heroic contribution to radiology at the RMCC, she let me take a magazine with me that I wanted to finish. She walked me to the door, gave me a hug, thanked me yet again, and told me she would call me when they got their certification. I went back to work.

Hours later I am still passing enough gas to fuel a Prius, and my stomach is still a bit iffy. Remember what they say in the military (so I've been told), "Never volunteer for anything".