The Big D

Yes, I know it's not a pleasant topic. I've been sick with the big D since yesterday morning after I went to work. I could probably have a colonoscopy today if needed. It is a side effect of both chemo drugs. Up until now, I've had minor issues with it. Yesterday I had chills and was in and out of the bathroom all evening and into the night. I'm not finished yet, tho it seems to be waning as there is nothing left in my system. I am wrung out. I won't be going to work. I feel badly that I'm not able to do my job on the days that I'm supposed to work. I feel that I'm letting people down. I know that it's not really in my control, but still...